Bully

The movie "Bully" is being released tomorrow.  Do you plan to see it?  I intend to as soon as it comes near to me.  If you see it, your comments and thoughts would greatly appreciated here.

http://movies.nytimes.com/2012/03/30/movies/bully-a-documentary-by-lee-hirsch.html

What Would You Do?

The popular show on ABC that acts out different scenarios in public places to see if anyone will react and step in.  Tonight the show is about bullying.
The scene:  a young man who happens to be an albino is sitting on a street bench when two other young men come up and start harassing him.  Out of the 200 people who passed by that day only 14 stopped to help.  Fourteen!!  Why?  Why aren't more people willing to stand up for someone being bullied?
The scenario was changed up a bit to include a girlfriend sitting with the young man on the bench.  And still most people walked on by.
But of the 14 who stopped to intervene, I applaud you!  These people were not afraid to say something, to stop the bullying.  They knew it wasn't right and they were strong enough to say so.  They did what we all should do in this case, stand up for what you believe in.  Treat others like you would want to be treated, in this case, help this person who is being bullied just like you would want someone to help you if you were the one sitting on the bench.  Often times it only takes one person to step in and then others find their strength to step in too.
The actor playing the young man on the bench was brought to tears at the compassion of those who helped him.  He said that this scenario happens to him often but usually no one is strong enough to step in and say anything.
All I can say is put yourself in his shoes.  Think about how it would make you feel to be bullied and watch others just walk on by, willing to let it continue happening.  Isn't that what happened with Jesus when he went before the Sanhedrin?  I have to imagine that there was at least one person in that room who disagreed with what was happening.  Unfortunately that one person did not stand up for what he knew was wrong.
Which person do you want to be?  Are you willing to let fear lead you?  Are you willing to walk on by and see the behavior as acceptable?  Can you justify ignoring the situation?  Are you always going to be willing to let others lead the way even if you disagree?
Stand up, be counted, be willing to say "this is wrong."  Don't walk on by.

Want to watch the episode with host John Quinones, click here:  http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/03/man-with-albinism-bullied-on-street-would-you-step-in/

Ohio School Shooting

In thinking about and praying for all those affected by this horrible tragedy, I am wondering why there are always conflicting reports.  As usual there are the similar reports that the shooter was an outcast, dressed in goth style, and didn't have many friends.
The conflict that is present, which I seem to notice happens often when things like this happen, is that some are saying he was bullied and others are saying he was never bullied.  I saw the same thing happening with Ruth Ann Payton, the 12 year old girl who killed herself two weeks ago.
Are others just not willing to admit there was bullying?  Are they afraid of being bullied themselves if they speak up?  Or do they just not want to get involved?
The school here in Chetek where Payton attended says they have things in place to prevent and report bullying.  But as teachers and counselors were meeting with the kids after Payton's death no one was saying anything about bullying, therefore making the school feel that bullying was not an issue.  I really don't like to accuse or suggest that the school officials were not telling the truth, but we all know that bullying goes on everywhere.  What I don't understand is why reports coming from outside the perimeter of the school grounds say bullying was definitely a part of this girls decision to end her life at such a young age.
My heart goes out to the families in Ohio who are having to deal with children who were injured yesterday, it goes out to everyone having to understand their feelings and fears.  It especially goes out to the family who lost a child.  No parent should have to suffer that.  And my heart goes out to the family of the shooter and him.  Obviously this boy, this child, was hurting in some way to make him feel the need to hurt and kill other kids.  I cannot pretend to know or understand why.  But it breaks my heart.
What are your thoughts on this tragedy?  What are your thoughts on why kids don't want to admit that bullying is occurring?  Are we as parents and educators, pastors dropping the ball somewhere?  Are we causing them to fear telling us these things or admitting these things?  I just want to understand.

Teacher Against Bullying

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said..................they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullys another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.

Taylor Swift

Anybody heard Taylor Swift's new song "Mean"
She wrote it because a critic was bullying her.

Student Takes On Bullying

David Levine

This is a powerful video from one of our local high school students

In video, Kingston High School student takes on bullying (video included)

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The Bully Tapes

David Levine
Another update...Thanks

The Bully Tapes
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Great Resources

David Levine

Some great resources here!

Reading Room | Ashoka - Empathy

empathy.ashoka.org

Want to keep learning about empathy and its many applications? We've compiled this list of resources to help get you started.

Payton Ruth Ann Richardson

http://www.weau.com/home/headlines/Friend_makes_video_to_honor_friend_and_stop_bullying_139339713.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsG8vZJRofg

Tonight I will be attending the school district meeting that was brought about by the tragic death of 12 year old Payton Ruth Ann Richardson who tragically ended her life on February 12, 2012.  The reason, bullying.  She felt she had no other options.  God rest her soul.  

Please pray for Payton's family, friends, teachers, and all of who are fighting to keep this from happening to one more child.  I would also ask that you pray for those who bullied her.  Pray that Jesus will reach their hearts and help them to find a way to stop their behavior.

God Bless you all.  Peace be with you Payton.

from the Dali Lama

Schools and Bullying

First my comments:
This case happened in 2009.  Have things really changed?  I don't think so.  We are still hearing heartbreaking stories of kids being bullied in school, and very unfortunately, kids are still committing suicide over bullying.  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
Every time I hear another story like this my heart breaks and the tears flow.  Why does it have to continue?  It doesn't!!!!  I believe it is time, past time for us to take a stand.  United we stand, divided we fall.  Yes, it's an old cliche.  But it's so very true.  We must stand together to stop this senseless, hateful thing.  How are we going to do it?  By working together.  By coming up with ideas and plans together.  




The Department of Education reports that 25 percent of American students say they were bullied at least once a day. States have tried to address the issue by mandating their school districts adopt anti-bullying initiatives. But can these policies really stop school bullying and possibly save lives? CBS News correspondent Bianca Solorzano reports.
Eleven-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover had a beaming smile.
"He loved life. He loved to laugh," said Carl's mother, Sirdeaner Walker.
But soon after Carl began sixth grade at the New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, Mass., he became the target of school bullies who taunted him - even threatened to beat and kill him.
Sirdeaner Walker says she i immediately contacted the school to address the issues. But she couldn't prevent what followed.
On April 6, 2009, Carl hanged himself with an extension cord - just 10 days shy of his 12th birthday.
CBS News has identified 10 other students ages 13 to as young as nine years old who were bullied and committed suicide in the last 12 months. Suicide is so rare among children that young the CDC doesn't even consistently track the numbers.
Yale professor Young-Shin Kim has done research on what's been termed "bullycide" and has found that victims of bullying are 5.6 times more at risk of attempting or thinking about suicide.
The administrators at the New Leadership Charter School ignored CBS News' request for an interview or comment on Carl Walker's death. But CBS News has learned the school has had an anti bullying policy since 2006, and a reported intervention happened the day Carl Walker died - leaving some advocates to question whether these initiatives fix the problem or make it worse.
Author Jodee Blanco was constantly bullied throughout elementary and high school - so much so she almost committed suicide. She now tours the country talking to students about the consequences of bullying.
She believes disciplining bullies is ineffective because it creates a hostile environment; the bullying may move online and it doesn't prevent what Blanco calls the worst kind of bullying - social isolation. 
"It's the most damaging kind. … It makes you say to yourself, 'There's something wrong with me,'" she said.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

There are many warning signs that could indicate that someone is involved in bullying, either by bullying others or by being bullied.  However, these warning signs may indicate other issues or problems, as well.  If you are a parent oreducator, learn more about talking to someone about bullying.

Being Bullied

• Comes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongings
• Reports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewelry
• Has unexplained injuries
• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sick
• Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
• Has changes in eating habits
• Hurts themselves
• Are very hungry after school from not eating their lunch
• Runs away from home
• Loses interest in visiting or talking with friends
• Is afraid of going to school or other activities with peers
• Loses interest in school work or begins to do poorly in school
• Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come home
• Talks about suicide
• Feels helpless
• Often feels like they are not good enough
• Blames themselves for their problems
• Suddenly has fewer friends
• Avoids certain places
• Acts differently than usual  

from: http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/warning_signs/index.html

Let's get some dialogue going.....

What is the most recent bullying incident that you've seen?  Real or portrayed on tv, it doesn't matter.  What would you have done in this situation?  How did it make you feel?

Think

Never Be Ashamed of Your Scars

Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying can have a serious negative impact on individuals and on companies, but is unfortunately common. Everyone in a company benefits from recognizing and stopping workplace bullying. If you are a bully or being bullied at work keep reading to learn how to stop.

Workplace bullying is when one a person or group of people in a workplace single out another person for unreasonable, embarrassing, or intimidating treatment. Usually the bully is a person in a position in authority who feels threatened by the victim, but in some cases the bully is a co-worker who is insecure or immature. Workplace bullying can be the result of a single individual acting as a bully or of a company culture that allows or even encourages this kind of negative behavior.

Workplace bullying can take many forms:

• Shouting or swearing at an employee or otherwise verbally abusing him or her
• One employee being singled out for unjustified criticism or blame
• An employee being excluded from company activities or having his or her work or contributions purposefully ignored
• Language or actions that embarrass or humiliate an employee
• Practical jokes, especially if they occur repeatedly to the same person

There are also some things that are usually not considered workplace bullying:

• A manager who shouts at or criticizes all of his or her employees. While this is a sign of a bad manager and makes a workplace unpleasant, it is not bullying unless only one or a few individuals are being unjustifiably singled out.
• A co-worker who is critical of everything, always takes credit for successes and passes blame for mistakes, and/or frequently makes hurtful comments or jokes about others. Unless these actions are directed at one individual, they represent poor social skills, but not bullying.
• Negative comments or actions that are based on a person’s gender, ethnicity, religion, or other legally protected status. This is considered harassment and, unlike bullying, is illegal in the United States and gives the victim legal rights to stop the behavior.

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, up to a third of workers may be the victims of workplace bullying. About twenty percent of workplace bullying crosses the line intoharassment. The New York Times found that about sixty percent of workplace bullies are men, and they tend to bully male and female employees equally. Female bullies, however, are more likely to bully other females. This may be because there is more pressure on females trying to succeed in male-dominated workplace, and more competition between females for promotions.

Regardless of its source, workplace bullying can have serious negative effects on employees, such as:

• Stress
• Absenteeism and low productivity
• Lowered self-esteem and depression
• Anxiety
• Digestive upsets
• High blood pressure
• Insomnia
• Trouble with relationships due to stress over work
• Post traumatic stress disorder

Workplace bullying is also bad for business. Some of the ways that companies suffer due to bullying include:

• High turnover, which is expensive for companies as they invest in hiring and training new employees only to lose them shortly thereafter, possibly to a competitor
• Low productivity since employees are not motivated to do their best and are more often out sick due to stress-related illnesses
• Lost innovations since the bully is more interested in attacking his or her victim than advancing the company, and the victims become less likely to generate or share new ideas
• Difficulty hiring quality employees as word spreads that the company has a hostile work environment

Because workplace bullying can be devastating to employees and companies, some companies have instituted zero-tolerance policies toward workplace bullying. In these companies, if an employee is being bullied he or she needs to document the bullying and present the problem to the proper person in the company, usually someone in human resources or upper management. Companies with good anti-bullying policies usually hold meetings from time to time to remind employees what workplace bullying is, how to report it, and the consequences for bullying.

In some companies, however, there is a company culture of workplace bullying. Usually companies do not purposefully support bullying, but they may develop a problem with it either through not taking workplace bullying seriously or by developing the habit of placing blame and fault finding instead of solving problems. In these companies, employees who make a case against bullies may find that the bullying only gets worse. In this situation, employees often have to either make the best of the situation or find different employment.

Employees who are or have been victims of workplace bullying should realize that it is not their fault that they are being bullied. If they are suffering negative effects from the bullying they should seek help from a doctor or counselor and, if the bullying is ongoing, from a career advisor who can help them plan a job or career change.

Sources:
Washington State Department of Labor and Industries, "Workplace Bullying: What Everyone Needs to Know" [online]
Workplace Bullying Institute [online]
The New York Times, Business, "Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work" [online]

Lady Gaga's Foundation

Lady Gaga has since set up the Born This Way Foundation, a nonprofit aiming to empower youth in the face of bullying and abandonment and inspire bravery and acceptance and a world where individuality is encouraged.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/lady_gaga_goes_white_house/278833#ixzz1jhOmjMEF

http://bornthiswayfoundation.org/

Lady Gaga on Bullying

(NEWSER) – For one gay teen, it didn't get better, and Lady Gaga plans to do something about it. The singer took to Twitter following the suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer—who ended his life because he could no longer face bullying at his school—first expressing sadness ("The past days I've spent reflecting, crying, and yelling. I have so much anger. It is hard to feel love when cruelty takes someones life") before establishing a platform of sorts.

"Bullying must become be illegal. It is a hate crime,” she tweeted. And she plans on taking her case to the top. "I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting. This must end. Our generation has the power to end it. Trend it. #MakeALawForJamey." The Buffalo News notes that Rodemeyer posted Gaga lyrics on Facebook shortly before his death: "Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door."

from: http://www.newser.com/story/129249/jamey-rodemeyer-suicide-lady-gaga-wants-obama-to-make-bullying-a-hate-crime.html