Bully

The movie "Bully" is being released tomorrow.  Do you plan to see it?  I intend to as soon as it comes near to me.  If you see it, your comments and thoughts would greatly appreciated here.

http://movies.nytimes.com/2012/03/30/movies/bully-a-documentary-by-lee-hirsch.html

What Would You Do?

The popular show on ABC that acts out different scenarios in public places to see if anyone will react and step in.  Tonight the show is about bullying.
The scene:  a young man who happens to be an albino is sitting on a street bench when two other young men come up and start harassing him.  Out of the 200 people who passed by that day only 14 stopped to help.  Fourteen!!  Why?  Why aren't more people willing to stand up for someone being bullied?
The scenario was changed up a bit to include a girlfriend sitting with the young man on the bench.  And still most people walked on by.
But of the 14 who stopped to intervene, I applaud you!  These people were not afraid to say something, to stop the bullying.  They knew it wasn't right and they were strong enough to say so.  They did what we all should do in this case, stand up for what you believe in.  Treat others like you would want to be treated, in this case, help this person who is being bullied just like you would want someone to help you if you were the one sitting on the bench.  Often times it only takes one person to step in and then others find their strength to step in too.
The actor playing the young man on the bench was brought to tears at the compassion of those who helped him.  He said that this scenario happens to him often but usually no one is strong enough to step in and say anything.
All I can say is put yourself in his shoes.  Think about how it would make you feel to be bullied and watch others just walk on by, willing to let it continue happening.  Isn't that what happened with Jesus when he went before the Sanhedrin?  I have to imagine that there was at least one person in that room who disagreed with what was happening.  Unfortunately that one person did not stand up for what he knew was wrong.
Which person do you want to be?  Are you willing to let fear lead you?  Are you willing to walk on by and see the behavior as acceptable?  Can you justify ignoring the situation?  Are you always going to be willing to let others lead the way even if you disagree?
Stand up, be counted, be willing to say "this is wrong."  Don't walk on by.

Want to watch the episode with host John Quinones, click here:  http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/03/man-with-albinism-bullied-on-street-would-you-step-in/

Great Resources

David Levine

Some great resources here!

Reading Room | Ashoka - Empathy

empathy.ashoka.org

Want to keep learning about empathy and its many applications? We've compiled this list of resources to help get you started.

Schools and Bullying

First my comments:
This case happened in 2009.  Have things really changed?  I don't think so.  We are still hearing heartbreaking stories of kids being bullied in school, and very unfortunately, kids are still committing suicide over bullying.  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
Every time I hear another story like this my heart breaks and the tears flow.  Why does it have to continue?  It doesn't!!!!  I believe it is time, past time for us to take a stand.  United we stand, divided we fall.  Yes, it's an old cliche.  But it's so very true.  We must stand together to stop this senseless, hateful thing.  How are we going to do it?  By working together.  By coming up with ideas and plans together.  




The Department of Education reports that 25 percent of American students say they were bullied at least once a day. States have tried to address the issue by mandating their school districts adopt anti-bullying initiatives. But can these policies really stop school bullying and possibly save lives? CBS News correspondent Bianca Solorzano reports.
Eleven-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover had a beaming smile.
"He loved life. He loved to laugh," said Carl's mother, Sirdeaner Walker.
But soon after Carl began sixth grade at the New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, Mass., he became the target of school bullies who taunted him - even threatened to beat and kill him.
Sirdeaner Walker says she i immediately contacted the school to address the issues. But she couldn't prevent what followed.
On April 6, 2009, Carl hanged himself with an extension cord - just 10 days shy of his 12th birthday.
CBS News has identified 10 other students ages 13 to as young as nine years old who were bullied and committed suicide in the last 12 months. Suicide is so rare among children that young the CDC doesn't even consistently track the numbers.
Yale professor Young-Shin Kim has done research on what's been termed "bullycide" and has found that victims of bullying are 5.6 times more at risk of attempting or thinking about suicide.
The administrators at the New Leadership Charter School ignored CBS News' request for an interview or comment on Carl Walker's death. But CBS News has learned the school has had an anti bullying policy since 2006, and a reported intervention happened the day Carl Walker died - leaving some advocates to question whether these initiatives fix the problem or make it worse.
Author Jodee Blanco was constantly bullied throughout elementary and high school - so much so she almost committed suicide. She now tours the country talking to students about the consequences of bullying.
She believes disciplining bullies is ineffective because it creates a hostile environment; the bullying may move online and it doesn't prevent what Blanco calls the worst kind of bullying - social isolation. 
"It's the most damaging kind. … It makes you say to yourself, 'There's something wrong with me,'" she said.

Let's get some dialogue going.....

What is the most recent bullying incident that you've seen?  Real or portrayed on tv, it doesn't matter.  What would you have done in this situation?  How did it make you feel?

Cyber Bullying from bullyingstatistics.org

Cyber bullying affects many adolescents and teens on a daily basis. Cyber bullying involves using technology, like cell phones and the Internet, to bully or harass another person.Cyber bullying can take many forms:

• Sending mean messages or threats to a person's email account or cell phone
• Spreading rumors online or through texts
• Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages
• Stealing a person's account information to break into their account and send damaging messages
• Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person
• Taking unflattering pictures of a person and spreading them through cell phones or the Internet
• Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person

Cyber bullying can be very damaging to adolescents and teens. It can lead to anxiety,depression, and even suicide. Also, once things are circulated on the Internet, they may never disappear, resurfacing at later times to renew the pain of cyber bullying.

Many cyber bullies think that bullying others online is funny. Cyber bullies may not realize the consequences for themselves of cyberbullying. The things teens post online now may reflect badly on them later when they apply for college or a job. Cyber bullies can lose their cell phone or online accounts for cyber bullying. Also, cyber bullies and their parents may face legal charges for cyber bullying, and if the cyber bullying was sexual in nature or involved sexting, the results can include being registered as a sex offender. Teens may think that if they use a fake name they won't get caught, but there are many ways to track some one who is cyber bullying.

Despite the potential damage of cyber bullying, it is alarmingly common among adolescents and teens. According to Cyber bullying statistics from the i-SAFE foundation:

• Over half of adolescents and teens have been bullied online, and about the same number have engaged in cyber bullying.
• More than 1 in 3 young people have experienced cyberthreats online.
• Over 25 percent of adolescents and teens have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones or the Internet.
• Well over half of young people do not tell their parents when cyber bullying occurs.

The Harford County Examiner reported similarly concerning cyber bullying statistics:

• Around half of teens have been the victims of cyber bullying
• Only 1 in 10 teens tells a parent if they have been a cyber bully victim
• Fewer than 1 in 5 cyber bullying incidents are reported to law enforcement
• 1 in 10 adolescents or teens have had embarrassing or damaging pictures taken of themselves without their permission, often using cell phone cameras
• About 1 in 5 teens have posted or sent sexually suggestive or nude pictures of themselves to others
• Girls are somewhat more likely than boys to be involved in cyber bullying

The Cyberbullying Research Center also did a series of surveys that found these cyber bullying statistics:

• Over 80 percent of teens use a cell phone regularly, making it the most popular form of technology and a common medium for cyber bullying
• About half of young people have experienced some form of cyber bullying, and 10 to 20 percent experience it regularly
• Mean, hurtful comments and spreading rumors are the most common type of cyber bullying
• Girls are at least as likely as boys to be cyber bullies or their victims
• Boys are more likely to be threatened by cyber bullies than girls
• Cyber bullying affects all races
• Cyber bullying victims are more likely to have low self esteem and to consider suicide

Parents and teens can do some things that help reduce the cyber bullying statistics:

• Talks to teens about cyber bullying, explaining that it is wrong and can have serious consequences. Make a rule that teens may not send mean or damaging messages, even if someone else started it, or suggestive pictures or messages or they will lose their cell phone and computer privileges for a time.
• Encourage teens to tell an adult if cyber bullying is occurring. Tell them if they are the victims they will not be punished, and reassure them that being bullied is not their fault.
• Teens should keep cyber bullying messages as proof that the cyber bullying is occurring. The teens' parents may want to talk to the parents of the cyber bully, to the bully's Internet or cell phone provider, and/or to the police about the messages, especially if they are threatening or sexual in nature.
• Try blocking the person sending the messages. It may be necessary to get a new phone number or email address and to be more cautious about giving out the new number or address.
• Teens should never tell their password to anyone except a parent, and should not write it down in a place where it could be found by others.
• Teens should not share anything through text or instant messaging on their cell phone or the Internet that they would not want to be made public - remind teens that the person they are talking to in messages or online may not be who they think they are, and that things posted electronically may not be secure.
• Encourage teens never to share personal information online or to meet someone they only know online.
• Keep the computer in a shared space like the family room, and do not allow teens to have Internet access in their own rooms.
• Encourage teens to have times when they turn off the technology, such as at family meals or after a certain time at night.
• Parents may want to wait until high school to allow their teens to have their own email and cell phone accounts, and even then parents should still have access to the accounts.

If teens have been the victims or perpetuators of cyber bullying they may need to talk to acounselor or therapist to overcome depression or other harmful effects of cyber bullying.

Sources:

Richard Webster, Harford County Examiner, "From cyber bullying to sexting: What on your kids' cell?" [online]

i-SAFE Inc., "Cyber Bullying: Statistics and Tips" [online]

Cyberbullying Research Center, "Summary of our cyberbullying research from 2004-2010" [online]

National Crime Prevention Council, "Cyberbullying" [online]